I can really use a wish right now.

Dear diary,

When I write here it feels like I am drinking hot chocolate with marshmallows from a big cup, sitting somewhere in the coffeshop with people around me.
I want to move to Glasgow so much. I am not a "Small town girl"! I am so not. This town is killing me. It irritates me - everything here irritates me. I don't know why. "Just." I used to love Stirling so much, but what happened? I don't know.  I guess I just got fed up with this small towns. Not mine. Not now.

Sometimes I think that maybe that is because of him..Like, maybe I just want to escape from a place where so much memories are still alive. Because everywhere I go I think about him. I feel like he should be here with me. Going to the pubs, shops, restaurants with me! Like he used to do.
But now he is away...Thousands miles away...And I am still here.

And I desperately need to change something! Otherwise, I will just fall into the depression and kill myself.

xxx,
Mary